I want to sleep.
I want to sleep I want to sleep I want to sleep.
And then I want to sleep some more.
But I want to read. I want to read my book. I want to read my other book. I want to read the three books I’ve been lent in the last two days. I want to call my parents and tell them how much I love them. I want to write in my journal. I want to take a cup of life mysteries and swish them around for a while. I want to pray. I want to sit in the quiet with a cup of warm tea. I want to scroll through the nothingness that is instagram just to pass time without thinking for a moment. I want to write. I want to dream.
There never seems to be enough time for all of these things.
Nighttime is when my introverted little heart bursts to life and wants to dissolve all the mysteries and rhetorics of life. But I always find myself faced with this decision; Sleep or write in my journal. Sleep or read a few more pages. Sleep or study. Sleep or pray. Sleep or…
I got home at 9:30 tonight and I could have done it.. I could be asleep right now. I would be so hardcore sleeping right now. It would have been glorious.
But the house is still, and I’m alone, and moments like this are so few and far between I almost have to sit here and write and suck the marrow from the stillness of this room because sleep will always be there for me but memories fade and time is fickle and today was filled with divine appointments and life-changing moments so maybe my eyes can forgive me just this once.
I want to sleep.
But this day begs to live just a little bit longer.
At heart, we have an urban garden that models how to grow plants in urban settings. My favorite part is the rooftop portion, featuring the “blanket garden bed”. It’s 3 layers of blankets and a thin layer of soil, followed by small concentrated piles of soil where the seeds are planted. And guess what?
Those plants thrive.
One day I walked over to help Leah with some chores when I noticed a melon on the the concrete. (We definitely didn’t plant it there.) I went to pick it up thinking it was unattached, but it wasn’t. So I went to place it back where it came from..figuring it was in the dirt bed right next to me. Imagine my surprise when I followed the melon’s vine over…and over….and over…..two. garden. beds. away. That includes the slabs of concrete between both, meaning there was at least 7 feet of space between the birth of this seed and its’ fruit.
I love this.
And I love these garden beds because they show us something really incredible:
Plants want to live. They are fighters. They are fierce.
We just put some seeds in a tiny pile of soil surrounded by concrete and they thrive. Why? Because they want to grow, they were designed to grow, and they reach for any and every nutrient they can get their little seedy hands on to burst forth and live the way they were designed to.
It inspires me.
It reminds me to be fierce.
It reminds me to be optimistic.
It reminds me that life is a gift.
It brings me comfort,
Because I know that truth and purpose is so interwoven in God’s creation.
“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life…to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.”
-David Henry Thoreau
Friends, if you woke up this morning: Congratulations. You have been given a new day.
Remember that there are opportunities all around you.
I hope you will grab a hold of them and choose to live.